Completely without forward momentum, it’s no wonder this sorry toy-like excuse for a scuba diver is going nowhere fast. Of note is the rig setup that moves the head independently of the body – at least the artist got one thing right.

Look at that bitch kick. One would expect any dust-trails left by this hasty maiden to become a tornado-like vortex with the superhuman rear thrust of these calves.

The painfully arthritic movement and posture of this poor fellow lead to images of a senile naked escape bid from the local old-folks home. For the love of god get him back in an ambulance!

While not technically a cycle, this would have been better done as one. That way there’d only be two footsteps to screw up with bad timing and weight distribution that lead to an overly cautious-looking action.

This unfortunately malnourished character prances across the screen with painfully obvious IK and floppy feet. The head lolls around with the body motion, another victim of a badly set up rig.

The alsoran recently had great fun busting out wailing solos on the unique guitar-shaped peripheral for PS2 Guitar Hero. After playing guitar for over a decade now, he was disappointed to only score 97% on his initial run, as real-world experience certainly helps in this game. Of particular interest was one loading-screen message recommending, should you enjoy the game (which was unanimously the case with all in attendance), that it may be worth investing in a guitar for real.

Unlike reading, which is percieved to be a valuable past-time, videogames have a hard time justifying their existence as more than a mere distraction. The alsoran has many friends that would sooner sit down with Pro Evolution Soccer than visit the park to kick a ball around.

In the defence of videogames, gamers will likely never have the opportunity to pilot a scpacecraft with the fate of the galaxy resting on their shoulders. The alsoran has, however, relatively recently discovered the joys of snowboarding, which is incomparable to a session of SSX.

In conclusion, what games do provide is a middle ground of low-cost simulation, giving the player a small percentage of the thrill of scoring the winning goal, carving a board down a scenic mountainside, or playing guitar to the cheers of a crowd of fans – all without the physical, geographical and financial hurdles that would otherwise prohibit such an exercise. Still, many more games could do with delivering a message that living life for real provides a thrill that no game, book or film ever will.